in my world you would be punished if you.....

listen to music on your phone. talk during a movie.
sit behind me on the bus coughing. flex in the mirror at the gym. eat my food.
only drink guinness on st. patrick´s day.spill beer... anywhere, anytime.
smell haven´t been abroad. piss on the toilet seat.are old and think i want to hear your stories.
cry when you´re drunk. cry because your drunk friend is crying. won´t try anything new. are a sexaphobe.
 want to go home. speak in a girly voice. use all the toilet roll. beatbox.
wear sunglasses inside. talk to me when i´m on the toilet. are better than me.
 talk on the phone whilst you´re driving. consider shopping to be a family outing.
 speak patois when you´re a white boy. are a vegetarian but still eat fish.
 think shouting proves your point. read over my shoulder.
go on a bar crawl in fancy dress. put lol at the end of all your emails.
 wear playboy bunny clothes when you should know better.
send me stupid chain emails threatennig to curse me with crap sex for life if i don´t obey
support a team from a city you have never lived in.
look at me funny. try to stop a house party. honk your horn the moment the lights turn green.
own a 4X4. wear a tracksuit somewhere unrelated to sports. punch me in a friendly way.
 turn your boxers inside out to get an extra day out of them. try to touch me.
let your ring tone play out for the duration before answering. Robot dance..
badly. put effort into your facebook profile. make me work over 37.5 hours a week.
wear your pants below your boxers.drive slow. text whilst i´m talking to you.
have selective hearing. pimp your ride. use alternate capital and lower case letters.
label your food. watch robot wars. think that evolution is just one of many viable theories.
insist that just because you were dumb enough to have kids, everyone should try it.
think that britney got a raw deal from the media.consider politics to be a hobby every 4 years.
think that just because i go to work everyday i should actually do my job.
use a :-) when sending me bad news. call me, get my voice mail,
waint through all of the annoying options and then hang up without leaving a message.
say the word "fierce". brag that you were into that band before they were famous.
don´t realise that "how´s it going" is a rhetorical question. still use the term TGIF.
 think the mullet is due for a comeback. inflict your offspring on me.
 stand in the middle of the escalator instead of allowing people to pass on the left.
refer to yourself as a maverick. don´t finish your beer.
sit next to me in the movie theatre (or on an airplane) and fart the whole time.
 print out your emails. are a conservative.